Stop trying to change it and just fucking drop INTO it
(+ private client inner sanctum is now open)
Sometimes we can get real wiggly.
With the magic.
With growth.
With ourselves.
We know we’re being called into the next evolution of soul, but…
It’s uncomfortable as all get out.
And so we don’t sit still long enough IN the change to actually experience the physical manifesting OF the change.
But, what are we to do, when we are in the places between?
When we know not yet where we go, but we know where we’ve been… and we’ve no desire to go back.
Who are we to become when the becoming itself is wrought with our own seeming iniquities and desolation?
And what are we to ask of ourselves when we are the one we are trying to run away from?
I’ve been feeling called to get back to handstands.
The practice of physically inverting our perspective and cells.
The embodiment of consciously and wantonly changing our lens.
And I remember one of my old handstand coaches telling me to hold.
Hold where I was.
Even when I could feel my position was suboptimal.
Hold.
Even though I knew I could get it better, do it better, be in the form BETTER… if I just wiggled.
Shifted.
Moved.
Reset.
But, it is in the hold, you see, that we are able to begin uncovering the magic.
It is in the holding, even when conditions are not perfect, that we are found.
Because while the wiggle might feel good, and it might be a way of attempting to convince ourselves that we have improved and become oh so self-aware, the wiggle is also just another way of moving AWAY.
Away from discomfort.
Away from what we believe to be wrong.
Away from our own perceived inadequacies and lack of mastery.
But the hold?
Ah!!!
The hold!!!
It is where we drop in.
It is where we remember.
It is where the change truly begins.
I used to sit under the honeysuckle as a small child.
And the physical world would fade away.
And I would simply find myself on my own little planet catching shooting stars and fading away.
{We should note: I never wanted to be a prince or a princess. I always related more to the dragons and the aether and the LONGING of the soul of the universe itself. I mean… duh.}
And as I faded, new worlds would be born right in front of my eyes.
New possibilities.
New ways of being.
I no longer felt suffocated or stuffed into an earth-bound suit of stardust and flesh and bone.
I was lighter.
I was free.
And I stayed and I stayed and I stayed.
In it.
Of it.
I didn’t wiggle.
I didn’t try to make it right.
I didn’t adjust to hide from the discomfort of the unknown unfolding within me.
I held.
And I WAS held.
In the spaces where everything and nothing collided and I was made whole and came undone and REMEMBERED.
And you?
Where are you getting wiggly and antsy and running from soul?
Where are you being invited IN, but you keep forcing it OUT?
And where might you arrive within it all, if there was nowhere else you needed to be but here?
MmmmmmHMMMMM.
As always…
Here’s to your untaming,
N
P.S.:
I’m opening up my brand new fire AF private client experience, The Inner Sanctum.
And I’m just letting you know now, this is not for the faint of heart.
And also?
Shit is never gonna be the same again.
Not after this.
Not after who you become within, through, and as it all.
Spots are very limited (like… frfr limited).
EAE members get first dibs.
So if you know you’re ready to STAY ready and to dive into the depths of every last nook and cranny of your Refugee Soul with me, over the next three months, then head here for more deets and to apply.
I love you.
And if this is for you…
I’ll see you on the medicine side.
P.P.S.:
I’m moving from Substack back to ConvertKit.
More BTS on that next time, but just wanted to give you a heads up so you’re not surprised.